From Lonely to Supported: How I Build My Own Village as a New Mum
They say “it takes a village to raise a child” — but when I became a mum, I didn’t have one.
After giving birth, my husband was only home for a few days… and then it was just me. Still healing, still figuring out feeding and sleep, with no grandparents nearby or meals arriving at the door. I felt completely alone, and at times, invisible.
But slowly, I started piecing together my own version of a “village.” It didn’t happen all at once, and it didn’t look like the traditional support networks mums once had. But it worked.
Here’s how I built mine — piece by piece.
How I Built My Own Village
👩🏻💻 Online support
When I felt stuck, I turned to online educators. Courses like Big Little Feelings gave me practical strategies for handling toddler tantrums while breastfeeding a baby, and I even explored Elimination Communication when nappies were overwhelming.
🥦 Local learning
I signed up for a local weaning intro session and learned new ways to make food less stressful.
🤱 Breastfeeding support
I went to a La Leche League group to get the hang of breastfeeding, surrounded by women who understood the ups and downs.
👶 NCT connections
I connected with my NCT group. In the end, it wasn’t the right fit — and that’s okay too. Not every mum-friendship has to stick.
🧠 Mental health care
When things felt too heavy, I self-referred through the NHS website for mental health support. Reaching out was hard, but it made such a difference.
🎶 Baby classes
I tried baby massage, music sessions, and even a dancing class with my baby in a carrier. Some were more fun than others, but each gave me a chance to meet other mums.
🛒 Small practical wins
I started ordering my shopping online. It sounds small, but it took away so much stress from those endless “milk and nappies” runs.
🚶♀️ Finding my people
Most importantly, I joined a local walking group for mums (Blaze Trails). That’s where I met my best friend — someone who “got it,” who listened without judgement, and who turned into one of the most important people in my life.
The Lesson: One Person Can Become a Village
When you imagine a “village,” you might picture a big group of family, friends, and neighbours. But sometimes all it takes is one person.
One friend you can message at 2am.
One mum you can swap a buggy walk with.
One neighbour who pops round with a hot drink.
That’s enough to change motherhood from feeling isolating to feeling supported.
You Can Build Yours Too
If you’re reading this and feeling lonely as a mum — please know you’re not failing. Modern life has stripped away the ready-made support networks mums once had. But you can create your own village, step by step.
✨ Start by asking yourself: What’s one small thing I could do today to meet someone who really gets it?
It could be sending a message to another mum, joining a local walk, or simply smiling at the parent you see every week at baby class. One small action can open the door to connection.
And if you’d like a safe, baby-friendly space already set up for you, that’s exactly what I’ve created with my Postpartum Prep Club — a place to come as you are, connect with other mums, and leave each week feeling a little lighter. Because your wellbeing matters too.